Workplace Conflict
Try on the other person’s shoes and lace them up
by James Davis
More often than not, when we are in opposition with another individual we know “we are right” and “they are wrong.” Or at least that is what we lead ourselves to believe. We play the tapes over and over in our head and do not think twice where the other individual is coming from. We waste much valuable time and energy doing this. Stop the tapes!
A study on workplace conflict conducted by CPP, makers of the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator, found that U.S. employees spend 2.8 hours per week dealing with conflict, equating to approximately $359 billion in paid hours in 2008 (based on average hourly earnings of $17.95), or the equivalent of 385 million working days. This does not even include the cost of lost productivity due to employee grievances and missed work.
How do we stop the tapes and get back to work?
We need to “SLOW” down and take a moment to do some perspective taking! Perspective taking is one of seven constructive behaviors identified by Capobianco, Davis and Kraus, used to develop the Conflict Dynamic Profile Individual and 360° surveys.
You probably are saying to yourself, “I’ve already put myself in their shoes and they just don’t get it — dumbie!”…but how many of us have REALLY taken the time and energy to do perspective taking? Let’s get real with ourselves, not many!
How to try on their shoes and lace ‘em up!:
- Stop the tapes, take out the emotion.
- Listen with the intent to understand, ask clarifying questions.
- Objectively, what are the other person’s needs?
- Where is there common ground?
When you “SLOW” down the conversation, you can begin to authentically start perspective taking. Sometimes you may need to step away from the conversation in order to stop the tapes and take out the emotion.
If you are interested in learning more about your constructive and destructive behaviors, and triggers when confronting conflict, you and/or your team might benefit from taking a Conflict Management Workshop.
CLICK HERE to learn more.
James Davis
James Davis has a decade of experience as a learning and change consultant. James has worked as both an internal and external learning and change consultant. He has a Master’s degree in Organizational Leadership, Training and Development from the University of Denver and is a certified mediator and facilitator.
